Emotions Need Regulating. Image by Malgorzata Tomczak on Pixaby. If emotion regulation is the process of controlling one’s emotions, keeping them in balance and away from extremes, then it’s probably easy to figure out what emotional dysregulation is—the inability to control one’s emotional responses. Bite-sized, evidence based tips and tools for managing intense emotions in the moment—from the authors of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook! Sometimes emotions can feel like a big, powerful tidal wave that will sweep you away. And the more you try to suppress or put a lid on these emotions, the more overwhelming they get.
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Learning to Ride the Wave. This approach is central to many traditions of yoga and meditation. At the Kripalu School of Yoga at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, yoga teacher training includes the study of a specific technology for riding the wave, known as “BRFWA” (Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch, Allow). Distress tolerance skills refer to a type of intervention in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) where clients learn to manage distress in a healthy way. These skills are helpful for situations where a client might not be able to control a situation, but they need to manage their own response.
Every day, we encounter a variety of emotions; we can respond to these feelings in many different ways. When most people experience a negative emotion like sadness or anger, we tend to either push the feeling away or react to it quickly.
However, there is a different way of handling difficult emotions— a DBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy technique that can make our negative emotions more manageable. It’s called “Riding the Wave.”
“Riding the Wave” encourages us to experience our emotions like waves in the ocean. We float with less intense feelings or ride the waves of stronger emotions. This skill is like riding a surfboard during the emotions - knowing that it will last only a little while and then will subtly subside. Here are a few tips to help you practice “Riding the Wave”:
Remember to think of your emotions like the ocean. Feelings come in waves; some waves may be stronger than others, but they all will pass.
Next time, instead of putting your feeling aside or trying to control the emotion quickly, try riding the wave. Recognize what you feel, let yourself experience it, know that it is only temporary, and accept that the feeling is part of you in the moment. “Riding the Wave” will help you feel more comfortable managing difficult emotions.
(Source: “RIDING THE WAVE”-A Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Metaphor For Mastering Emotions by Ben Caunt)